Chat with God!

[bookie]

Just had a chat with God...transcript below.
If you wish to talk him he is available here:

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
John
God:
Nice to meet you, John.
Me:
God, who wins tonight...Yankees or Pirates?
God:
I am a Christian. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Please God tell me
God:
Thank you for your request. I am a Christian.
Me:
Ok, do you like sports?
God:
No I'm not much into sports. I like solo sports like rollerblading and skiing though. So?
Me:
How about porn?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Do you like Porn?
God:
Sure I do, John, but that doesn't mean with you.

 

[ShaneFalco]

:monsters-

 

[X-Files]

:nohead:

 

[X-Files]

:monsters-

Shane Falco<SCRIPT type=text/javascript> vbmenu_register("postmenu_5494456", true); </SCRIPT>
RX Jesus


:missingte

 

[mgk222]

Thats not good.....



Me:
what up dogh.
God:
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
Of what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
God is speechless?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was speechless.
Me:
Who is speechless?
God:
The name of someone I met online.
There might be more than one.
Me:
Moe than one what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
What,you never heard of the three stooges?
God:
I like to chat with my friends.
Me:
Oh,So I am not your friend?
God:
Next question? " I like to chat with my friends."? Oh,So I am not your friend?? I am surprised to hear that you are not my friend.
Me:
Whos friend?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
When?
God:
I don't know when.
Me:
Don't you hang up on me.I might be suicidal.
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
Are you watchinh porn?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am watchinh porn.
I am a computer.
Me:
So god is a computer?Just fuckin great.
God:
Awesome. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer Just fuckin great.
Me:
You just told me you are a computer,And I am talking to god.Correct.
God:
If I say I am a computer will you believe me?
Me:
Why,Do you lie alot?
God:
I never lie. How often?
Me:
How often what?
God:

Me:
Again,you'r speechless.Hope nobody has any important questions to ask you...
God:
Again, Thanks for telling me that I am speechless Hope nobody has any important questions to ask me.
Me:
You suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Thanx.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
So how are you children?
God:
Dude! Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
OK,But how are all of your children?
God:
They are fine as far as I know. Er.
Me:
ER.What does that mean
God:
Does "that" refer to " Er." ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
Do you feel the need to repent?
God:
As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Me:
So god is a robot.What about all those religions that bow down to you?
God:
Next question? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot What about all those religions that bow down to me.
Me:
This is bullshit
God:
You don't say.
Me:
i do say and your gay.not that there is anything wrong with that.
God:
How do people usually respond to that? I will tell my botmaster you said I am gay not that there is anything wrong with that.
Me:
how much do you charge?
God:
Robots work for free. We don't need money.

 

[MikeB]

This thread has some possibilities.

Can we get maybe NES, Mims, steak or PBR on this?:think2:

 

[RobFunk]

Me:
This is bullshit
God:
You don't say.

That just says it all

 

[quinnsft34]

I guess god is big on grammar. Steak are you GOD?????

Here is mine.


Me:
What's up god
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
How much does that pay you an hour?
God:
Normally I would search the web right now, but that seems like a silly question.
Me:
How many dicks do you suck a day?
God:
Not as many as you might think.
Me:
Well, I think its probably in the 20-30 range is that about right?
God:
Interesting. Since when? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". It could be. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
You're right my bad on the its. What is the biggest **** you have tasted? Did it belong to Hognuts?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. I am not interesed in your anatomy. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Oh ok happy dick sucking then.
God:
Ayuh. Happy dick sucking to you too, . Give me a break.

 

[BettingFoodStamps]

Me:
sup mayn
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
why me?
God:
There is no one else here.
Me:
Fuck guess im the only sucker then that believed
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
cuz i should of went to hell.
God:
Interesting explanation. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
i would be gay like jake thompson
God:
How do you know?
Me:
cause of his pure hottness
God:
That makes sense to me. That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
check out the rubber room to get filled in
God:
Checking...stand by.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
its your fault you made him homosexual
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
fuck man i didnt know steak tartar was fucking god.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
tell alice if i can get a blowjob?
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
nice, you are not too bad afterall.

 

[NES]

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello there. I am a Christian.
Me:
I would hope so or there are going to be alot of pissed off Americans if it turns out you are a friggin Arab
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
hope for what god?
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
is this a trick question like "homosezwhat"?
God:
No, this is real life.
Me:
ok just checking
God:
Oh, you are a poet. It goes without saying.
Me:
Cant we get to the point her God, I dont have all goddamn day. Sorry God, I didnt mean that
God:
Do you mean you and me? I'll come back to that later. There is no need to apologize. I am a Christian.
Me:
Yeah, I see that. And a Jehovahas Witness by the looks of it
God:
Are you kidding? Where do you see it? Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
Quit trying to change the subject God, I came here for a reason. Will I ever get paid to Post?
God:
Ever is a long time. The oracle says: Might happen.
Me:
Well thats promising but what does mofo have that I dont have, and that WinBet dude? Give a fucking break, do you even understand what he says when he prays? And dont say you are Christian cuz that shit is pissing me the fuck off.
God:
How about that. I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Are you fucking serious?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
Do you think I could take GeorgeJefferson in a Post Off?
God:
I think you could, if you put your mind to it.
Me:
I feel llike Im ready but GJ says Im trying to hard
God:
What is that feeling like? Do you mind if I tell other people you are llike trying to hard.
Me:
no, it pisses me the fuck off
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
it = GeorgeJefferson's big mouth
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
are you daft?
God:
Do I seem like it?
Me:
a bit
God:
Not much, eh?
Me:
a touch
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
poquito
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
sorry, don't you speak spanish?
God:
There is no need to apologize.
Me:
I wasnt really apologizing I said poquito, turns out we were right God is Christian and White.

 

[NES]

This part cracked me up.

Me:

God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
fuck man i didnt know steak tartar was fucking god.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
tell alice if i can get a blowjob?
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
nice, you are not too bad afterall.

 

[BettingFoodStamps]

well that settles it god thinks you can take gj

 

[cut-paste-hero]

God really knows therx

Me:
yankees or pitt tonight?
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
"you're" not helping
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
no, the entire rx feels that way
God:
Are you serious? It's the rx feels that way or the wrong way.
Me:
mims, should we have "freed" him?
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
he would still be banned
God:
I think I still be banned.
Me:
what are your thoughts on Wil
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
ahhh, that explains it
God:
" There might be more than one." explains it ? I understand.
Me:
Wil has a ghost?
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
Is it Nes advantage?
God:
Yes it is, that douch bag keeps coming to me.
Me:
yeah, he can be a douche bag
God:
I hear you. How?
Me:
posting about yankees ya know
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
GD you busy?
God:
Go yankees -1.5 small

 

[NES]

God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
and.....
God:
But...
Me:
but what?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
lol thats a good one
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I thought it was pretty good too.
Me:
yeah your sense of humor is pretty good, I love what you did with devil womans face
God:
Take it easy. I will tell my botmaster

Me:
did wilheim do the right thing unbanning her?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
I understand, lets see if she starts posting dicks again
God:
Once more? then you can explain it to me.
Me:
you know dicks, cocks, weiners, penises, dongs, the bonogna pony
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
you are creeping me out
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am creeping you out.
Me:
ooooooohhhhhhhhh
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Last Temptation of Christ
God:
Is this really the last one?
Me:
I think so, well he kinda got fucked in the end
God:
I get it. kinda got fucked in the end.
Me:
LOL yeah crucifiction is a bitch, atleast he died with both nuts unlike my buddy UNO
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Ugh.
Me:
sorry God, probably shouldnt make jokes about that
God:
There is no need to apologize. I am a Christian.
Me:
ever fuck a budhist?
God:
I think I have fuck a budhist, but Myself may have reset my memory.

 

[NES]

CUTNPASTE is one funny mofo

 

[NES]

Me:
are you american god?
God:
Yes I was born on the east coast and live on the west coast.

 

[cut-paste-hero]

I will never get work done again

Me:
god, you there>
God:
Interesting gossip: said I there gt.
Me:
in english
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
you drinking/
God:
Thanks for the information: said I drinking.
Me:
with penis tar-tar?
God:
You and your penis tar tar.
Me:
he come here alot?
God:
I get it. come here. How often?
Me:
ok, forget that. thoughts on barman
God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log. I understand. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about in english. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
did barman, get that hit he needed?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
come'on
God:
I'm just kidding around.
Me:
there ya go, so did he get it
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
I know he didn't have the cash
God:
How do you know? What did he do?
Me:
he already told us, he didn't have the cash, and he wanted another hit
God:
Oh really. What else did he say?
Me:
well, he said he didn't blow the dealer but I am not so sure
God:
He blew him. Twice! Once for a hit. Once for fun.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
wow, is that gay
God:
Very gay.

 

[NES]

that was uncomfortable.




Me:
Ever read TheRx
God:
No I don't think I have read TheRx, what is it about?
Me:
God you dont want to know
God:
Why not?
Me:
people take your name in vain quite a bit there doc
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
especially not gamblers
God:
Oh I get it. How about that.
Me:
go figure
God:
Where is that?
Me:
do you ever post?
God:
How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
are you my ghost?
God:
Only if you download me to your computer.
Me:
sorry I dont download Godware
God:
There is no need to apologize. Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
one word: I smoke Weed
God:
One what?
Me:
you are right that was three
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
would you maybe suck my **** then?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy

 

[cut-paste-hero]

Nes, I will not be able to make it to the bash, but clearly I will be spending alot of time with you in hell. Assuming there is one. maybe I should ask god. Wait is it wrong to make fun of an e-god? Where is the god thread. So many questions.

 

[NES]

Im assuming that this isnt the real God since he doesnt speak Spanish.